1. |
anything
01:55
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i don't want anything at all
don't need any attention
cause i'm building up a wall
fortifying my defenses
and when i wake up
will my room still look the same
will i step outside for a minute
will the world know i'm in it
no painnnn
i wont feel anythinggg
blood drains
dripping down my leg
i told them i'm afraid
of what i do to myself every day
i told them i'm afraid
of what i do to myself every day
take it out out out
in the bath room room
put it in your phone case
keep it close to you
take it out out out
in the bath room room
keep it in your phone case
keep it close to you
no painnnn
i wont feel anythinggg
blood drains
dripping down my leg
i told them i'm afraid
of what i do to myself every day
i told them i'm afraid
of what i do to myself every day
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2. |
portal (+ anna glyphs)
02:04
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(i'm somewhere else)
find the portal, make an entrance
scratch the surface of something different
decide you hate it, know it hates you
let it bury, let it break you
life's an empty hallway
lungs feel empty always
stuff it in the crawlspace
treat it like a mistake
crush the pieces even smaller
cut the loose ends, block the caller
love the horror, burn the altar
wake up six feet underwater
"you're just fucked up like your father
you can't focus any longer"
discomposure ever present
it'll kill you if you let it
find the portal, make an entrance
scratch the surface of something different
decide you hate it, know it hates you
let it bury, let it break you
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3. |
darkroom w/ daywaiter
01:41
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(me)
haven’t been outside in a month or two
i'm a hermit, barricade my room
until i earn it, decorate my tomb
and then i burn it, nothing wakes me up like a
darkroom, no light, keep a costume on
don’t let em see nothing nothing
darkroom, no light, keep a costume on
don’t let em see nothing nothing
(daywaiter)
light in my head keep a fire lit
starin at the ceiling thru my eyelids
searching for the way out, buddy find it
why u always running in the dark
whatchu stacking up, mileage?
but u lookin for a pilot?
my apologies i don’t have the requirements
wish i could get us outta here before i die by it
i hear my echo in the walls, i'm gone die tryin
(me)
haven’t been outside in a month or two
i'm a hermit, barricade my room
until i earn it, decorate my tomb
and then i burn it, nothing wakes me up like a
darkroom, no light, keep a costume on
don’t let em see nothing nothing
darkroom, no light, keep a costume on
don’t let em see nothing nothing
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4. |
want
01:51
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we could have coffee, doughnuts
we could watch twin peaks, good fun
shouldn't move closer, no touch
shouldn't get caught up, no feelings
but that's what i want
i make it obvious
i'll throw my life away
for one good fuck
i want what i can't have
so i get what i don't want
i make it all no fun
i make it all blow up
i'm done playing fuckup
i'm done playing fuckup
i'm done playing fuckup
i'm done playing fuckup
i could take your t-shirt home
and never give it back
and make new friends
and put it all behind me
all behind me
we could have coffee, doughnuts
we could watch twin peaks, good fun
shouldn't move closer, no touch
shouldn't get caught up, no feelings
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5. |
idiot
02:34
|
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(take it out out out
in the bath room room
keep it in your phone case
keep it close to you
take it out out out
in the bath room room
keep it in your phone case
keep it close)
i wish i fuckin worked right
i wanna take walks on the westside
without feeling like i might die
static tearing out the night sky
i wish i fuckin worked right
i wanna take walks on the westside
without feeling like i might die
static tearing out the night sky
i don't wanna wake you
i don't wanna bother
i don't wanna fake it
it's obvious i'm not her
caught in my obsessions
or just being honest
i'm a disappointment
say it's not ironic
i get kinda scared to talk sometimes
feel like i'm faking my whole life
and all the stupid shit that makes me cry
thinking i should let it pass me by
better people wrote all my best lines
and they're out there living their best lives
i'm so caught up tryna make up lies
out of people tryna have a good time
sometimes i wonder if they hear me
i'm quiet but i feel like i'm screaming
see how long i can live without breathing
and if i get it just right i can push those feelings
right down, forget about it
go out, get fucked up, shouting
"i'm alive for now because i found a way to kill myself"
i don't wanna wake you
i don't wanna bother
i don't wanna fake it
it's obvious i'm not her
caught in my obsessions
or just being honest
i'm a disappointment
say it's not ironic
i get kinda scared to talk sometimes
cause i know i'm taking my own life
why am i always so afraid to die
if it's not even the first time i tried
facedown, pavement, i'm not fucking playing
facedown, pavement, i'm not fucking playing
facedown, pavement, i'm not fucking playing
facedown, pavement,
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6. |
just like you
02:43
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to a better half:
(are those the words we used?)
you want a better start
but you know i love to lose
through the bitterness
you know you always win
you want a better part
but it's just like you said -
i wanna be just like you
i wanna be just like you
i wanna dress like you
i wanna act like you do
(just like you!
just like you!)
i see you in my dreams now
but usually you're just hanging around
a couple of times i think we made out
but we've never been in this house
"if it feels good, it doesn't mean that it's good"
is a lesson i learned and then misunderstood
so if it feels good, it doesn't mean that it's good
i heard it, i heard it, i wanna be just like you
i wanna be just like you
i wanna be just like you
i wanna trust like you
i wanna love like you do
i wanna be just like you
i wanna be just like you
i wanna trust like you
i wanna love like you do
i wanna be just like, just like, just like
i wanna be just like, just like, just like
i wanna be just like, just like, just like
i wanna be just like, just like, just like
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7. |
upset w/ 7aurenner
03:02
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(me)
i make my friends upset
knocking on my door like "are you up yet?"
blowing up my phone asking where i've been
but my room's the only place i'm spending time in
what do i even tell them?
i can't keep on lying to my best friends
keep my mouth shut during the discussion
is it still the truth if i say nothing, nothing
i don't know
(7aurenner)
i get lost in the sound (crowd)
but in the silence i sometimes drown
this is the part where i run
but i got stuck here, frozen with no bounds
so tell me why
we're six feet under in all of these lies
i try to fall in love
well i don't know myself, or even try
guess that's my alibi
(me)
you showed up in my dream
we weren't making out
you told me it's fucked
we call this our house
in the blanket fort
power line fell down
you just held me close
and you kissed my mouth
i feel you breathe in deep
while you're on top of me
i see my arms bruising
i start to count to three
i'm stuck losing sleep, rapid cycling
bear it and grind my teeth,
no hurt in losing me
i make my friends upset
knocking on my door like "are you up yet?"
blowing up my phone asking where i've been
but my room's the only place i'm spending time in
what do i even tell them?
i can't keep on lying to my best friends
keep my mouth shut during the discussion
is it still the truth if i say nothing, nothing
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8. |
pity/nothing
02:44
|
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oh pity you got what was coming
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you wanted
oh pity you got what was coming
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you needed
yeah, no, no pity
watch it burning from the front row
you're sitting pretty in your chateau
it's too late for "hi, hello"
cause i'm jumping out the window
say it with me
you need something
checking all your power
i could compromise a quiet life
if i spoke a little louder
guess i'm back in the backrooms
crying holding on a bottle in the bathroom
promise that i had nothing against you
i just cut you off because i knew i fuckin had to
oh pity you got what was coming
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you needed
big city no friends in sight
and i start telling people that you died
and i'm too busy building up my pride
and i'm caught up in all these lies and
oh pity you got what was coming
no pity you got what you wanted
no pity you got what you needed
now you're better in a bad way
you learned how to better hurt me
you take your time tryna get around me
knock me down when i find my feet, yeah
you're breaking down every wall you see
one one more door and you open
now you're staring at me wide eyed
you think we're talking just because you needed my life?
no more looking on the bright side
i'm being very fucking clear when i say that you get
NOTHING
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9. |
|
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everything you said, everything you did
brought the shit back up from when we were kids
brush it off i guess, said "it's not that bad.
can't we be best friends? cmon, don't be sad
for yourself or mad at yourself
don't think too hard cause it's bad for your health"
but you said "it's different now"
cause you got a new crowd
and they're all too young to be calling shit out
i don't wanna freak out again
i live in the real world, i guess
i live in the real world, i guess
honestly i'm disappointed
but i'm not tryna shut you down
you didn't hear a thing that i said
not that it really matters now
we're all adults, i guess
i don't wanna hear you cry again
i don't wanna hear you cry again
oh our words hurt?
how does it feel on the other side?
don't you hear yourself talk?
don't you hear yourself lie?
but you said "it's different now"
cause you got a new crowd
and they're all too young to be calling shit out
yeah it's pretty different now
cause we made a new crowd
and we all found out you were bringing us down
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
you're fucked up if you think i wanna do this
i mean, i know we had to, but it feels like shit
i'm not the one you wanna hurt so bad
i'm not just "them", i'm not "some fag"
i had your back, didn't have to do that
when it comes down to it i don't owe you shit
brush it off i guess, said "it's not that bad
can't we be best friends, cmon, don't be sad"
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
honestly i'm disappointed
but i'm not tryna shut you down
you didn't hear a thing that i said
not that it really matters now
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
no more, i wanna see you at the front door
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saoirse dream Portland, Oregon
popstar via lauren records
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